Thursday, December 6, 2012

Hidden Deep

 It has been too long (half a year) since I have made a page.  I have had many friends ask why?  Well, it is time for me to come out and explain my absence.  I was diagnosed with auto immune disease and fibromyalgia at the beginning of the year, which has also put me in a massive depression since then.  For those of you who aren't familiar with what I have, the best way I can describe it it is chronic wide spread pain all over the body.  It is hard for me to sit and concentrate on anything when my body is constantly screaming at me, even just the normal day to day things.  Therefore, I just haven't had it in me to scrap.  I started the idea of this page in July, so you can see it has taken me a very long time to put it together.  I take one day at a time, many of which I am bedridden so I have taken to reading novels again.  I have been trying different treatments and meds.  Nothing has helped yet.  Because of this disability, I lost my job as a massage therapist, which was really hard to endure.  So as you can tell by now, I am in pain in many different ways.
Hence, the reason behind this page...I had my dd1 take this photo of me, in July 2012, on top of a large cage, for the cold hardness of being trapped.  I darkened the photo and used some flames coming out of me to represent the burning pain.  I used a functioning zipper to hide the title and journaling since I have been in hiding and am now coming out with my disease.  Of course the severe distressing and punched cracks are for the all anguish and suffering I have been going through.
I did this page, not for sympathy, but just for my own therapy as well as wanting to share what is going on with my friends.  I greatly appreciate all of you who have inquired about my pages over these past months.
 This is the zipper up and covering the journaling.
Here the zipper is all the way down, revealing the journaling.


Journal:  "Hidden Deep within my own shadows...there is no escape from all my pain."  The paper which holds the zipper was only one sided, so I had to glue a different piece behind it.  I added the fibers to cover the part that was still exposed at the top.
The red net was from a popsicle bag.  I glued it down in certain areas using mod podge.  Instead of using one punch around the page I used two.  I even used some of the cracks that were punched out here and there.
(Not pictured here) is the black circle next to my photo and that is a CD protector that I nabbed from my dh.
 
                          Hugs to you all and always, thank you for your support!!!

18 comments:

  1. This is such a beautifully dark page, Cheryl! Love all the symbolisms, simply stunning. I'm so very sorry to hear of your illnesses. I will keep you in my prayers.

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  2. I am still praying for the day girl when you wake up and all is well again.....I cannot lose the faith that miracles can and do happen....faith the size of a mustard seed...that is all we need. God bless you my dear sweet friend....and as always I am dazzled by your passionate creativity and amazing talent...so glad to see a piece of your work again. thanx for sharing this!!!! Hugs! Nancy

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  3. Cheryl I am sending you love and positivity all the way from the other side of the world, welcome back to scrapping. Very much look forward to seeing more of your work soon, take care x

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  4. Cher, I love this layout. I'm sending up prayers for you my sweet friend, and hope that you will be healthy again one day soon. We all love and miss you and are here for you!!! Big Hugs, Karen

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  5. You certainly got your point across with this page--they say scrapping or doing something you truly love is definitely a form of therapy when going through tough times--so you doing this page was definitely a step in the right direction. The page is beautifully done especially the symbolism within it.

    Am hoping you start feeling better soon--you're always in my thoughts.

    Hugs...Kay

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  6. Cheryl I am sorry for your pain. Your page is the best you've every done. Very expressive. You've been great leaving comments on our galleries and that is much appreciated.

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  7. Cher I wish there was something I could do to help you. I'm so sorry for your pain. I hope that you find relief from it. It makes me sad for you.
    I am really honored that you used my challenge to express yourself in this way.
    Many hugs and prayers are being sent your way.

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  8. My deepest sympathy goes out to you...I have been through it as well with fibromyalgia and can vouch for the constant pain you are in...at the moment I am seeing a Homoeopath, which does help a little. Hoping you will soon find relieve for your pain!

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  9. Cheryl, this piece is so moving and such an artistic and symbolic masterpiece. I knew that you were sick and had been in pain, and my heart just breaks for you that such a sweet soul has to live with such devastating pain every day of your life. I pray that you find relief and that they can find a treatment that works for you. I hope that you can find some solace in knowing that there are a lot of people out there praying for you, including me. Big healing hugs to you~

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  10. Hi Cheryl, When you told me that you did not have mojo, I had no idea what you were going through. I will pray for you, my friend, and hope that you will get a miracle one day and wake up with some relief. I am happy that you were able to make this page as therapy and that you shared it with us. It is absolutely gorgeous. I miss your work so much.

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  11. Cheryl, your pain is now shared by all of us. Wjile it may not be much, at least we can pray for you and give you the emotional support you also need at this time.

    Here's to a better today and a better tomorrow. Thanks for sharing your difficult struggle

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  12. This is such a powerful and beautiful page, Cheryl! I really hope you will get better, sending you lots of hugs!!

    xoxo
    Helena

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  13. oh cheryl you did so amazing with expressing what you are going through, wow. I can relate to what you have been going through and how it can crumple your life especially when there is no relief. I have been on long term disability for 6 yrs do to chronic pain. Hang in there my friend, there will be a light at the end of the tunnel. the pain will always be there but it is so important to not let it run your life. Don't let it win, but it took me a long time to learn that. You are in my prayers and i really hope they find you some relief.. BIG HUGS

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  14. I'm so sorry about your illness Cheryl, I know it's too painful but most of all depression is something I know very well and I want you to know that if you need to "talk", I'll be here for you whenever you need me.
    I can only send you strength, love and please have hope!!
    HUGS!

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  15. Oh Cheryl..I had no idea that were going through such a terrible time.(Hugs) Hang in there honey.:(

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  16. I love this page Cheryl!!! I am so sorry you are going through all this..life surely isn't fair sometimes. However I am so happy to see you scrapping again. Thank you for sharing what was/is going on with you. Now your cyber sisters can offer support and prayers. I know I speak for all of us....we are here for you. SO glad to see your work again!!! Hope there is relief soon!!! Lisa

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  17. I'm so sorry Cheryl! I pray that they get your meds figured out so that you can have some relief. I have a lot of friends diagnosed with fibro and I know that there are good days but the bad days are usually really bad! Thinking of you my friend!

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  18. What an amazing heartfelt layout. You are in my thoughts.

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